post REM

mornings are often a very difficult time for me to be up and functioning with the peoples of day society. it's a different breed. my mind is often still reeling from the cycles of alternate worlds and universes created by my incredibly active psyche. i dreamed about mary kay the woman, she was haunting me, i dreamed that my mom ended up marrying my friend's asshole dad. the girl who was a close friend didn't even call to mention we might be step-siblings as she lives in new york. and for some reason this morning when taking a shower i fell into a half stupor involving my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend in seattle. i don't even dream about tyler anymore. i haven't for a long time. i hope that eventually i can stop dreaming about andrew too, but i think the hurt that i don't deal with in the day is something that my psyche digresses, spews, and churns in my sleep. i hate the mornings. it's the intermediary bridge to my clearer more clairvoyant state of mind that resides in night. i just want to figure out what the hell i'm going to do with my life and get the hell out of here. someone someone save me.