yea. i'm back.

URedHatGang: heyDatCasbahQueen17: yo DatCasbahQueen17: i'm fucking wasted WSURedHatGang: whats up WSURedHatGang: haha nice DatCasbahQueen17: i'm just going to put that out there right now WSURedHatGang: haha nice WSURedHatGang: so whats goin on in your world other than the cross fading? DatCasbahQueen17: i just signed the stop ashlee simpson petition. sucks. please god let her die. that's all i can really say. WSURedHatGang: hahaha WSURedHatGang: thats awesome DatCasbahQueen17: you should check that shit out. it just might happen WSURedHatGang: haha i know DatCasbahQueen17: there are already 155,181 signatures. beautiful. WSURedHatGang: haha thats so awesome DatCasbahQueen17: yea what are you up to? WSURedHatGang: watching close encounters with uncultured sheltered people who've never seen itDatCasbahQueen17: oh how fun! tell me more about it WSURedHatGang: haha. have you ever seen this movie?DatCasbahQueen17: no i dont think i have. i don't even know what movie you are talking about. WSURedHatGang: you stupid' WSURedHatGang: oihdskfhsdaf WSURedHatGang: lolDatCasbahQueen17: fuck you. of course i know what the hell you're talking about. jesus christ. WSURedHatGang: haha WSURedHatGang: hehe WSURedHatGang: I LOVE YOU. DatCasbahQueen17: spielberg is not to be fucked with WSURedHatGang: haha thank god! DatCasbahQueen17: how have these peope not seen this movie? WSURedHatGang: country folk DatCasbahQueen17: wow. WSURedHatGang: lol. DatCasbahQueen17: this is why i've come to the realization that the only way to deal with country folk is to get drunk with country folk and hope to god that they don't shoot you to deathDatCasbahQueen17: i'm sittin here trying to sober upDatCasbahQueen17: and i don't feel like passing out eitherDatCasbahQueen17: so i'm just kind of stuck in limbo.WSURedHatGang: hahahaWSURedHatGang: i know that feelingWSURedHatGang: mescalineDatCasbahQueen17: no shit man, how do you like that shit?WSURedHatGang: its fuckin good, you done it?DatCasbahQueen17: nah man i haven'tDatCasbahQueen17: what are the health side affects?WSURedHatGang: hell if i knowWSURedHatGang: probably the basicsWSURedHatGang: mind fucks, and organ lossWSURedHatGang: lolDatCasbahQueen17: nah, i'm cool with mind fucksWSURedHatGang: lolDatCasbahQueen17: just no holes in the brain is all i ask forWSURedHatGang: me tooDatCasbahQueen17: why the hell else would i do it if it weren't for the mind fucksDatCasbahQueen17: fuck yeaDatCasbahQueen17: yea man maybe i'll try itDatCasbahQueen17: i still have to do shroomsDatCasbahQueen17: and absintheDatCasbahQueen17: ah yeaDatCasbahQueen17: that's the shitWSURedHatGang: absinthe is funWSURedHatGang: i didnt get all hallucinatey though i just got really drunkDatCasbahQueen17: really?!?WSURedHatGang: you done the cokey cokey yet?DatCasbahQueen17: man it's all about the hallucinationsDatCasbahQueen17: ah manWSURedHatGang: lolDatCasbahQueen17: i'm scared shitless of cokeWSURedHatGang: whyDatCasbahQueen17: i try to stick to "literary" drugsWSURedHatGang: crack badDatCasbahQueen17: cuz i'm a fucking nerdDatCasbahQueen17: this is trueWSURedHatGang: haha no worriesDatCasbahQueen17: coke is betterWSURedHatGang: heroin badWSURedHatGang: acid badWSURedHatGang: coke...not so badDatCasbahQueen17: yea if i had to choose it would definately be cokeDatCasbahQueen17: heroin sounds amazing but i'd probably have to pass tooWSURedHatGang: i dont like shroomsDatCasbahQueen17: yea? no good eh?WSURedHatGang: i dont do with psychadelicsDatCasbahQueen17: yea, i've been re-evaluating weed evenDatCasbahQueen17: i get paranoidWSURedHatGang: yea me too most of the timeWSURedHatGang: i do ok latelyWSURedHatGang: just get munchies like a mother fuckerDatCasbahQueen17: i read everyone's negative thoughts instead of the postivieDatCasbahQueen17: yea same hereWSURedHatGang: and get giggly, but then i dont get really ripped anymoreDatCasbahQueen17: yea weed and me might have to take a hiatusWSURedHatGang: just like share a j with someone, or smoke a bowl with a few peopleWSURedHatGang: haha i never thought youd say thatDatCasbahQueen17: which is sad cuz i jsut got a new pieceDatCasbahQueen17: yea i fucking know man!DatCasbahQueen17: this is me!DatCasbahQueen17: MISS mary janeWSURedHatGang: hahaDatCasbahQueen17: and i wanted to at least color in my new pieceDatCasbahQueen17: but maybe it'll have to waitWSURedHatGang: lolWSURedHatGang: thats awesomeDatCasbahQueen17: i don't know manWSURedHatGang: hahaDatCasbahQueen17: i might lose a lot of connections with this WSURedHatGang: dont give up hopeDatCasbahQueen17: im definately a known regularDatCasbahQueen17: people might freakDatCasbahQueen17: i just have einstechtDatCasbahQueen17: and itDatCasbahQueen17: is heightened to the infinite degree when stonedDatCasbahQueen17: in all the bad waysWSURedHatGang: thats shittyWSURedHatGang: but you'll survive, you're a tough one, and smarter than meWSURedHatGang: so you should be ok...i think you could handle itDatCasbahQueen17: yea it'll probably be better for meDatCasbahQueen17: i don't need the superfluous negative energyDatCasbahQueen17: alchohal treats me all rightDatCasbahQueen17: like right nowDatCasbahQueen17: alrightWSURedHatGang: understandable, but eventually alcohal turns into a far more dangerous drug than anything elseWSURedHatGang: your whole digestive tract is fucked, your brain, tongue, mouthDatCasbahQueen17: i knowDatCasbahQueen17: i have to be carefulDatCasbahQueen17: or i could just go straight edgeDatCasbahQueen17: depend solely on the tempestuous nature of my manic mindDatCasbahQueen17: but that's REALLY a tripDatCasbahQueen17: and kind of scaryDatCasbahQueen17: substance abuse is like quality control sometimesDatCasbahQueen17: who knows what my mind can concoctWSURedHatGang: ok, first of all if you go straight edgeWSURedHatGang: the best form of mind warping would be sleep deprivationWSURedHatGang: and that is dangerous beyond any reckoning...so stick to the mind altering drugsDatCasbahQueen17: well you would knowDatCasbahQueen17: as well as meDatCasbahQueen17: so all is wellDatCasbahQueen17: yeaDatCasbahQueen17: i just have to find the right sensaieDatCasbahQueen17: sensae*WSURedHatGang: lolDatCasbahQueen17: to induct me into these drugs properlyDatCasbahQueen17: you know how it goesWSURedHatGang: yea i know thats what i was thinking find very experimental guyWSURedHatGang: and do exWSURedHatGang: and have SEXWSURedHatGang: it will be the best experience of your lifeWSURedHatGang: rave style, find some underground rave in boulder...they are all over lolDatCasbahQueen17: seeDatCasbahQueen17: i think i have a complex with sexWSURedHatGang: or reallyWSURedHatGang: what all is in this complexWSURedHatGang: you fear it!WSURedHatGang: if you ever get near it dont jeer it its fearlessDatCasbahQueen17: call it penis envy DatCasbahQueen17: call it masculinity fearWSURedHatGang: hahaWSURedHatGang: you fear the reaper?DatCasbahQueen17: i just am fucking ticked that the female virginity is the most empowering and and sensitive counterpart to its male flacidityWSURedHatGang: hahahaDatCasbahQueen17: no jokeWSURedHatGang: thats funny, cause i try not to think of things so basic as sex in such complex waysWSURedHatGang: its sexDatCasbahQueen17: for youDatCasbahQueen17: yesWSURedHatGang: its the basic way of passing on your genesWSURedHatGang: to females it is too when you get down to the basicsDatCasbahQueen17: which is concurrent need in the male psycheDatCasbahQueen17: yea,WSURedHatGang: females...and some males just choose to complicate things since they have been taught to do it since they are youngDatCasbahQueen17: but we have to bear a fucking life form in our fucking uterus for nine months and give birth in the most excruciating humiliating way possilbleWSURedHatGang: females in our society have been taught to fear sex since the days of napolean in britainDatCasbahQueen17: that's full of shitWSURedHatGang: this is true, but dont you think men go through similar pain just in a more long and drawn out wayDatCasbahQueen17: females have been taught to fear sex since the orginial sin committed by adam and eveWSURedHatGang: sacrificing everything for the sake of their wife and childWSURedHatGang: not too much anymore since womens right have kind of made our lives easierDatCasbahQueen17: and "exonerated" men from their responsibilites as fathers?WSURedHatGang: but back in the day, 40 or 50 hour work weeks to keep your family afloat and pay for college and such was never easyWSURedHatGang: exactlyDatCasbahQueen17: is that why so many single mothers exist today?WSURedHatGang: which is why i think its bullshitWSURedHatGang: because of the womens rights movementWSURedHatGang: women were taught it was alright to just bail at the first sign of trouble in the 60'sWSURedHatGang: 80's*DatCasbahQueen17: yea i'm definately one to agree that feminism has sometimes hurt the cause more than anything elseDatCasbahQueen17: but i'm not even talking about a societal levelWSURedHatGang: I'm not saying that some of the shit abusive husbands pulled was as heinous as anything hitler did in world war 2DatCasbahQueen17: i'm talking about the sheer anatomy of sexWSURedHatGang: i knowWSURedHatGang: but society trains our mindsWSURedHatGang: which trains our bodiesWSURedHatGang: which is the anatomy of sexDatCasbahQueen17: well historically speaking wome have always been receptacles of sexual abuseWSURedHatGang: for women childbearing is the pain, for men, working all the damned time has been the source of painWSURedHatGang: both are physically and mentally tryingDatCasbahQueen17: constantine, the old testament, DatCasbahQueen17: women work tooWSURedHatGang: old testament women were evil thoughDatCasbahQueen17: in conventional terms of "child bearing"WSURedHatGang: john the baptist head on a platterDatCasbahQueen17: sure some whereWSURedHatGang: eveWSURedHatGang: everyoneWSURedHatGang: lolWSURedHatGang: except ruthWSURedHatGang: and the ones that chilled with jesusDatCasbahQueen17: but if you look closely they were just as disenfranchised as their 20th century counterpartsWSURedHatGang: and besides, none of those people ever really existedDatCasbahQueen17: used for the sexWSURedHatGang: thats trueDatCasbahQueen17: their*WSURedHatGang: but you also have to take into account the fact that men were trained to only try to work to get laidDatCasbahQueen17: i think the bible is somewhat valid in a highly illuminated account of historical narrativeDatCasbahQueen17: nah, it was already ingrained in their genetics to plant the seedDatCasbahQueen17: to try to impress a female that they were worthy enough to bear seed in their wombDatCasbahQueen17: to seduce them if you willWSURedHatGang: true but its also genetically implanted in the mind of women to give birthWSURedHatGang: lolDatCasbahQueen17: sureDatCasbahQueen17: it all depends in the maternal instinctWSURedHatGang: my mom had a histericmine or however you spell itWSURedHatGang: and she cried for like two weeks cause she couldnt have kids anymoreDatCasbahQueen17: yea it's a big dealDatCasbahQueen17: but logistically speaking she was done bearing kidsDatCasbahQueen17: sometimes the maternal switch can't be turned off thoughWSURedHatGang: and yea, the bible has been an accurate portrail of human historyDatCasbahQueen17: for some women it's never been turned onWSURedHatGang: thats trueWSURedHatGang: but some men never have their needs to spread their dna tooDatCasbahQueen17: yea they proved that the walls of babylon actually did fall outwardWSURedHatGang: look at homosexualityDatCasbahQueen17: exactly, there are anomalies in every species.

this is my life. pretty insignificant. pretty pathetic. a single drop in an infinite span of timed existence. it's mortality trapped in the weavings of frabric in anonymity of humanity. whoopee. my life is so so sad right now.