starbucks: to receive or not to receive an invitation to corporate hell?

i was "recommended" to work at starbucks tonight. the corporate whore of america! it was more like i was "invited" to an exclusive inner circle of the elitist greeley "hip and happenin' youth". it was as if i was in the 8th grade again and i was being asked to sit at the "popular" table but instead was being asked to work for shit pay and shit hours "with fun people!". much like the proposition i received in middle school i will most likely decline the offer "gracefully". the ideal of the glamour is only slightly appealing when compared to the nauseating act i must do to hold steady conversation with such people. i am not a "oh. my. fucking GAWD!" kind of a girl. i am an "ohmyfuckinggodyoufuckingasshole" kind of girl, but i wasn't the former kind of girl in middle school nor am i that girl in college. some things don't change.

the two baristas on duty tonight were my flaming friend who was in school for the first two weeks of school before dropping out "for a semester" and the somewhat attractive barista i decided to be in love with for a night before realizing his inability to carry an intelligent conversation. they were discussing the starbucks party that was held the other night and were gossiping about two enlightened souls "that stuck out like sore thumbs". they wanted people that were of "the crowd". clearly, i would be a great addition to "the crew". they told me they didn't even look at the application except for the references. i had great references. it just goes to show, it's who you know not what you know. apparantley i fit the profile. this disgusts me.

i realized that this general misconception happens to me a lot. i look the part, dress "uniquely", and am not "socially awkward". apparantley i appear to be an outgoing, popular A-list kind of girl. really, i'm just a good actress. a damn good one if i need be. this helps me bide the time as shortly as possible. i only appear socially comfortable in strange parties or social situations because i'm incredibly uncomfortable and cover with that with "social grace". however, it only lasts for so long because my heart is never in it and usually i stop talking and become silently belligerent towards people. people would never guess that i'm an avid bookworm and incredibly reclusive. this is why i'm attracted to loners. i secretly am too, except no one cares to acknowledge that however blatantly obvious i make it. lately i don't even try to be civil anymore. they do not notice. they see me as they want to, and i cannot seem to do anything about it. i have no desire to be "popular" in the conventional sense at all. i went through the middle school drama envy complex already. i am over it. it is done. people can be truly ignorant.