Iraq vs. Mariah Carey

apparantley mariah carey has a new cd. i wasnt aware that she still existed in the music world. last i heard was that her record label of 10 years booted her after her failure of the "butterfly" album. you would think that this multi-million disaster would learn something after shamelessly flaunting her penthouse mansion wearing scantily clad lingerie between five costume changes for an episode of mtv cribs. what a camera whore. how scandalous. her album also just sucked. not that i heard it but the single was enough for me to steer clear.

i learned of the new album through aol's internet news flash on it's main board. a picture of mariah carey popped up headlining: "hear samples of mariah's new album! back and ready!" this was soon succeeded by a picture of 56 year old american hostage in iraq pleading for his life. there is really nothing to say about the level of disgust i feel for the culture through media in this nation. pure disgust.

today i had an interesting talk with my voice teacher. i went in to apologize for missing my lesson yesterday. i spaced the time and came half an hour later. he then proceeded to ask me if i had sung at all over the break. i promptly replied with an honest no. i didn't sing at all. a couple of times in the shower and in the car but it was really nice to not have to hear my voice for a month straight. he then asked me if i was double majoring in piano BME. this was a little delicate. i then let him know that i was planning on auditioning for a BA in the piano school. he asked me why and i told him the long list of reasons why i wanted to, and he told me i was being very practical. i think he approved. and he said that he thinks i have a voice in there but i'm "just such a TOTAL beginner".

we then proceeded to discuss greeley culture and the reasons that he is not coming back next year.he came from new york to replace a teacher that retired here as a personal favor. he hates it here. he hates the racism, the culture (or lack of), and the ignorance. he talked about how people know nothing better and accept their lot in life on a rotted platter. he has no friends. some people are nice but they can't really relate to him, nor can he to them. a lot of people are mean. or others ask him if he's a mexican. he's sick of the non-diversity, the disenfranchisement and bias towards minorities, and he's REALLY sick of the smell. i found out we have a lot in common. he said that there is not life. this is not a life to live. there is actual life out there. we talked about the young engagements rampant here, the people that grow up here, the people that stay here for the rest of their lives... he encouraged me to leave. it was a nice affirmation to hear from a respected musician who has seen a lot of this world. more of it than i have. it was nice. i don't have to like greeley. it really does suck. i'm fine. i don't have to compromise my moral character as a minorty in the masses. i don't want to. i don't think i can. this place is desolate devoid of anything vibrant in life. and it's not just some miserable disallusioned freshman that thinks it. that's fine.

many of my friends have moved on in their college lives. they have begun new lives that have nothing to do with me anymore. this is fine. i do not wish go back to high school. and, i am incredibly happy for them. it's important to move on and not look back. enjoy high school for what it was... but don't hang on to the past. i feel that i'm in limbo. waiting for life to begin but knowing that i cannot, don't want to, and will never be able to go back. i wouldn't want to anyways. but i would like to move on somewhere. anywhere. as long as it's not a greeley-esque scene. maybe i'll move to spain. people that understand the power of a siesta are a highly more sophisticated and evolved species.