i have a very difficult time conceptualizing how my days go by. i seem to be always busy. with school. ew. i woke up, went to class, went to concert choir, went to lunch, went to practice, three hours of practicing later i was walking back to snyder when i realized i had a class at that exact time in gunter as i walked by. after wildly demanding what day it was and what time to some bewildered passerby on the street i decided to go to class. i sat down for approximately five minutes but thought to myself, "fuck it" and left. i was poorly prepared with no materials except for my piano music and am fearing that i may be developing carpal tunnel. my hands hurt like hell. i was also just informed that one of the people i'm accompanying will be performing at 4 40's next month. no worries, now i just have to play in front of the entire voice department. that's not stressful, my audtion's not coming up or anything. i also don't have to learn nine songs for this one person who's auditioning for the manhattan school of music on top of the other three people (12 pieces) i'm accompanying for on top of trying to master this god damn forsaken mozart. i'm not stressed. oh yea. no big deal.

concert choir has a concert in colorado springs this friday. my ex-best friend and ex-boyfriend go to school there so i figured that out of the goodness of my heart i would invite them. apparantley the girl who is rooming with my ex-best friend and now currently dating my ex-boyfriend wishes to come as well. i knew her in high school. she hung out with my ex-boyfriend and i while we were dating. it's not like i was replaced or anything. nah or course not. and it's not like this ex-best friend didn't not talk to me the whole summer. apparantley she's been emailing people telling them that she wished she could be friends with me and that i'm a much better friend than her current roomate could ever be. everyone knows except for me. oh sure, i wasn't replaced, and completely neglected by the people closest to me. apparantley only after completely ignoring me do people realize, huh, we were pretty good friends huh? wow, you're great, sorry i treated you like shit for half a year. can we be friends? this is something that happens a lot to me for some reason. i'm so fucking glad that i'm expendable. i just like to believe that i was worth more than the girl these people replaced me with. unfortunately nothing changes the feelings that one develops after being ignored for that long either. i just wanted to see these people and be somewhat cordial. in a civil way. not deal with seventh grade drama. this is stupid. getting calls from everyone but the involved parties doesn't help. i'm so fed up with everyone. hey, it's not like i'm bitter or anything. it's not like i don't have 14 hour school days or anything. it's not like i have all this fucking time to think about this stupid shit. christ.